


Sleepy Snape

by younoknowme93



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bottom Severus Snape, M/M, Past Underage Sex, Sleep Sex, Top Harry, dubcon, really it is, sex is consentual
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-18
Updated: 2016-08-02
Packaged: 2018-07-15 19:13:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7235095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/younoknowme93/pseuds/younoknowme93
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Don't ask Harry how many times he's done this... and don't ask him why.  Harry is a teacher at Hogwarts now because he just couldn't end his little nightly tradition.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Harry

**Author's Note:**

> First chapter is in Harry's POV. Onward my ducklings

I know it’s wrong. I take the cloak and follow the well- known path. I know I could get in trouble. But that hasn’t stopped me yet. Don’t ask how I know the password. Don’t ask why or when I started. And do not ask how many times I have done this. That isn’t important right now. I cast the spell to keep him unconscious and begin undressing us both. I’m already hard seeing his pale skin. He’s dick is longer than mine. It’s thick and the veins stand out on his pale skin. Even flaccid his size is impressive.   
“You took thirty points from my Gryffindor's, so it’s only fair that I take you twice.” I lay him on his side, and then I pour some lube on my hands. I know there is a spell to stretch and lubricate, but I prefer doing it manually as if to prove to myself that I’m going through with this. Stretching him is only a formality. I’ve taken him enough times where I only have to do minimal stretching. Still I start off slow not wanting to hurt him. By the time I add the second finger he’s already half hard. His mouth is parted as his breathing speeds.   
He’s thin and his skin is marked with bruises just from where I’ve held him. My fingerprints leave evidence that he doesn’t care to notice. His legs spread on their own when I rub his thighs. My fingers curl into him and he whines. When I pull my fingers out, his hole twitches lewdly.   
“Are you ready so soon Severus?” I spread lube onto my own erection and slide inside. He tenses around me until I rub his hip. “Don’t be nervous Severus. You know who I am. I’m sure you can recognize the feel of my dick inside you. Relax for me and I’ll make you feel good again tonight.” And he does relax. His erection is standing proudly. My own is so puny compared to his. I know he’s unconscious, but he’s so receptive. His ass always hungrily takes my dick. I kneed his balls and he exhales audibly. My free hand strokes his length; it can’t fit all the way around his shaft.   
He’s moaning with every thrust. His hair hides most of his face so I brush the silky hair away. It never feels oily. Occasionally it’s still wet from the shower. I’ve been obsessed with him for too long. I’ve even memorized his schedule.   
I bury myself in him. He wakes up at 5:30 and presses the snooze until 6:00. I grind deep inside him enjoying his warmth. 6:15 he finishes dressing. My fingers press into his hips and pull him against me. 6:30 he begins eating breakfast in the Great hall. “Your ass always feels so hot.” 7:00 he goes to his classroom and grades papers until his first class starts at 8:00. It’s hypnotic watching my dick slide in and out of his twitching ass. He finishes teaching classes at 1:00 and he eats a light lunch in his office. His whimpers encourage me to stroke him faster. From 1:30 until 5 he brews potions for the medical wing or other needed potions. I suck the spot on the back of his neck; it’s my spot. His hair is so long it hides any mark I leave, but I know it’s there. 5 till 6 he grades more papers before going to his private chambers. His body tremors lewdly. If he manages to eat dinner it’s very little, and he either grades or experiment with potions until 9 when he takes his bath. There is not an inch of this man that I am unfamiliar with. At 9:30 he crawls into bed and reads for an hour until he falls asleep. At 11 I visit him.  
My fingers ghost over his nipples. He’s beautiful- perhaps not traditional beauty, but the whole of him is an image difficult to forget. The way his back is always straight to defy a world that wishes to kick him down. The way his eyes are always open, but still they manage to close off all of his vulnerabilities. The way his mouth forms a thin line just before he is about to smile as if to force that happiness away. I wanted to hate him. I tried to. But this man consumes my thoughts.   
“Fuck why are you so beautiful Severus.” That’s another luxury I only have in these moments. Calling him by his first name. “When you find out what I’ve been doing to you, will you have me arrested? I’ve been raping you in your sleep since I was a fifth year. I got hired on at the school specifically so that I would not have to stop these moments.” I still my movements wanting to feel him encasing me. Which did I start loving first, this body or this man. I kiss my spot on the back of his neck. I stroke him fully just enjoying how his channel tenses around me. “I wanted to hate you Severus. I wanted to. But I know your eyes. The eyes of someone who was mistreated. Someone who was ignored. Someone who wants to be held.” He whimpers in response, but I’m not afraid he will wake up. I’ve done this so many times. I hold still inside of him. There have been nights I’ve taken him roughly. But some nights. Some nights I just want to press my body against his until I feel nothing is separating us.   
“Ahh.” I kiss my spot.  
“Yes. Please make those sounds for me Severus.” My hips move slowly and he reflexively moves against me. “I love you Severus. I understand those eyes.” My arms pull him firmly against my chest. I lavish that spot trying to convey all the love I feel for him. “I don’t like talking about it. But before I came here. My guardians. My aunt and uncle treated me badly.” He’s trembling. His pale nipples are hard and they look so lewd I can’t restrain myself from licking them. “When I do these things to you. Is it a dream. I know even unconscious you feel these things, in your mind. Are you having a good dream. I would… want you to have a good dream.” I lazily take him. Tomorrow I might desire to take him hard and fast, but for this moment the muted gasps are encouragement enough for me to continue this slow pace I’ve set.   
But we only have so much time and I will have to leave him soon. His slightly damp hair sticks to the back of his neck and I move it aside. My spot is a dark red. I bite this tender spot on his neck and he exhales a muted scream. His hips jerk sporadically. He’s thrusting into my hand and then impaling himself on my length. I suck hard ensuring the mark will be visible for several days. Just in case I’m not able to see him tomorrow night.  
“Not so fast Severus. If you continue like this, I’ll cum and I want to enjoy you longer.” He doesn’t hear me and his pace continues. He’s whimpering beautifully and I can’t hold off any longer. He’s so tight. He’s so fucking hot. I force his body to still, molding it against mine. “Sev.. Uh. I’m.. cumming.” When I fill him his body trembles. Still erect, but no longer receiving pleasure. “I know Severus. Don’t worry I would never leave you unsatisfied.” I pull out enjoying the trail of cum leaking from his gaping ass. “And I would never leave you dirty.”  
I lay him on his stomach and pull him up to his knees. Aside from a slight whine he doesn’t protest. It isn’t necessary, but sometimes I think this is my favorite part. I could use a spell, but just light with stretching him. It doesn’t feel as real if I don’t do it myself. Another trail of cum slides out of him and down his long pale legs. My tongue trails after it not letting it escape.   
There is something erotic about tasting your own essence out of the ass of the man you love. About eating out his ass after fucking him thoroughly. My tongue returns to flicking his entrance until he relaxes enough for me to press completely into him. Fingers dig into his hips pulling him against my mouth. I suck lightly.   
“I would never neglect you Severus. I would be a good partner to you.” My hands keep his body from collapsing on the bed while my fingers move to spread open his creamy ass. “Has anyone ever ate your ass out like I do.” My tongue slides entirely inside him as his body squirms. He exhales a quiet plead.  
“Please.” He rarely talks in his sleep. But his voice. When he does. I can’t..   
“I did say I would fuck you twice.”  
“Please.” My hand pressed on his back making sure he’s completely pressed into the bed while my other hand holds his hip securely up.   
I slam into him. When he screams I slam harder. “Why do you have to do this to me Severus.”  
“Please.”  
His insides are so wet I slide in so easily. I stroke him with every thrust. “I want to claim you. I want to fuck you raw and make a mess out of you.”  
“Please.”  
“Fuck you have no idea how bad I want you.” I can’t slow down. “I have never been turned on by any girl.” I’ve told him all of this before. But it doesn’t matter. “I thought there was something wrong with me. I would see you and just want to touch you. Wanting wasn’t enough anymore. I know this is wrong.” I bite down on my spot to suppress the urge to come again. I’ll make sure he finishes first this time. “Even now, what I’m doing is wrong. But how else can I have you.”   
“Nnn.” I stroke him faster making sure to squeeze the base tightly.  
“That’s it Severus. You know my body. And I know yours. I know how you like to be touched. You can cum for me.”  
“Mmm nnn ahhhh!”   
“That’s it my love. Now.. nnn. Me too.” I’ll have to clean him again. But it was always one of my favorite parts. Tomorrow I’ll meet him in the great hall for breakfast before we both go to our classes to start the day, and at night I’ll find him again. These actions may be wrong but I won’t stop until he tells me to. And thus far he seems content to let me continue.


	2. Snape

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is in Severus's POV. Onward my ducklings.

He’s entered my room again. As he says the spell, I say the counter spell. I was a spy after all, a simple spell like this is easy to fend off. It’s easy to feign sleep, again I was a spy. I was able to convince the dark lord that I was loyal to him, it isn’t difficult to convince a boy half my age that I’m asleep. He’s so predictable with the same routine. He always come in my later than 11:30.   
I admit the first time I might have been curious. The golden boy sneaking out is one thing but breaking into a teacher’s room and attempting to cast a spell on them is another. I was curious. What would he do. The first night every action he did was skittish waiting for me to wake up. After each encounter he grew bolder. Less nervous about touching me.   
Each time he has personally stretched and lubricated my entrance. At first I thought maybe he didn’t know the spell, but after each night I became more positive that he was choosing to use this more personal method. I debated many things. Should I go to the police with this? But at the time he was a minor and the chosen one to take down the dark lord. I’ve certainly sold my soul for this war, what is the added harm in selling one’s body. And there was a chance that he would die anyways. So I let him take whatever he wanted.   
Once the war was over and he graduated I was sure the nights would end, and again I debated many things. By that point… I looked forward to the nights. And I was in too deep. He is a very attentive lover. Me being ‘unconscious’ many would not worry over if I felt pleasure or not.   
The few times I had sex while conscious the other did not care for my pleasure. It was… different to have a lover, especially one so young, hold me lovingly. From the beginning. He took every step to give me as little pain as possible.  
“I’m sorry Professor, I know this is embarrassing, but if I don’t stretch you it could hurt.” While telling me this the first time he slowly prepared me. Taking more time and care than any lover I have ever had. He would talk to me about his home life or about things he was afraid about. He was using me to vent all of the stress the war has put on him, and I felt accountable for the wrong I have done in my life. So I let him.   
Again he is in my room. He is undressing me and chastising me for taking 30 points from his lions. Saying that now he has to take me twice. I try not to shiver at that thought. Again he manually stretches me. I know what is coming soon and my body has already started to respond.  
“Are you ready so soon Severus?” He pushes into me slowly and despite my best efforts I still tense. “Don’t be nervous Severus. You know who I am. I’m sure you can recognize the feel of my dick inside you. Relax for me and I’ll make you feel good again tonight.” And I know he will so I do relax. He has never once left me unsatisfied. Always making sure that I’ve cum at least once. But often it’s more than that. He strokes me and I find myself moaning. I do not need to feel embarrassment because right now I’m not awake. I’m not accountable. “Your ass always feels so hot” He kisses the back of my neck. His spot. My hair covers any marks he leaves there and he does leave them. It’s his spot. I try to suppress the arousal at being claimed.  
He touches me everywhere. Not an inch of my skin is safe from those gentle hands. Sometimes I lean into the touches. Sometimes just that’s enough to get me off. “Fuck why are you so beautiful Severus.” He’s the only one. That has said that I was desirable. The only one that’s tasted my body and desired me again. The only one that can take me gently or roughly and I’m satisfied equally. “When you find out what I’ve been doing to you, will you have me arrested? I’ve been raping you in your sleep since I was a fifth year. I got hired on at the school specifically so that I would not have to stop these moments.” I know all of this, but hearing him vent to me furthers this attachment.  
He kisses his spot again while stroking me. I feel my insides tighten around him on their own. “I wanted to hate you Severus. I wanted to. But I know your eyes. The eyes of someone who was mistreated. Someone who was ignored. Someone who wants to be held.” I don’t mean to whimper. I don’t mean to plead for him to continue giving me this affection. I’m too old to desire this.  
“Ahh.” The sound escapes my mouth before I can stop it. But I’m not awake right now so it’s okay. I’m aloud to feel this pleasure as long as he doesn’t know I’m awake. He kisses his spot.   
“Yes. Please make those sounds for me Severus.” He’s taking me so slow. “I love you Severus. I understand those eyes.” He holds me against him and licks his spot repeatedly. And still he’s taking me so slow. He is barely pushing into me and then pulling gently out. “I don’t like talking about it. But before I came here. My guardians. My aunt and uncle treated me badly.” I know all of this. He’s the same. I’m shaking, but I’m not awake. I’m safe. When he licks my nipples a loud whine leaves my throat. “When I do these things to you. Is it a dream. I know even unconscious you feel these things, in your mind. Are you having a good dream. I would… want you to have a good dream.” Fucking amazing dream. He returns to suckling his spot but when he bites down I can no longer restrain myself.  
I hear him telling me to slow down. Warning me that he’ll cum if I don’t slow down. But I want to be full of him. I know what’ll come next when he finishes inside me. His hands are nearly bruising in how tightly he holds me, but when my insides are coated I find that I don’t mind the slight discomfort. “I know Severus. I would never leave you unsatisfied.” And he never has. I let him manipulate my body however he pleases.   
I just let myself feel as he presses his tongue inside me. He has no shame in how obviously he enjoys doing this. He’ll suck at my opening and try to open my up as much as he can before he plunges in his tongue.  
“I would never neglect you Severus. I would be a good partner to you.” His fingers expertly touch me in ways only he knows how to do. “Has anyone ever ate your ass out like I do.” I can’t breathe. It’s so hard to control myself.  
“Please.” I don’t mean to say this, but I can’t stop the word. I’m struggling to keep my eyes closed.  
“I did say I would fuck you twice.”  
“Please.” He pushes me deeper into the bed before rejoining us together. I scream.  
“Why do you have to do this to me Severus.”  
“Please.”  
“I want to claim you. I want to fuck you raw and make a mess out of you.”  
“Please.” I have to stay enough in control. Seldom do I lose myself enough to beg like this. He’s rambling again and It helps bring me back to myself.  
“Nnn.” But he’s stroking me so fast.  
“That’s it Severus. You know my body. And I know yours. I know how you like to be touched. You can cum for me.” I don’t mean to obey him but his voice was so quiet and so gentle.   
“Mmm nnn ahhhh!” My bones feel like liquid and I vaguely hear him cry his release.  
“That’s it my love. Now.. nnn. Me too.” For a moment he just holds me. Letting my body calm down from my high before he softly rolls me on my stomach. He tongue is still intimately drinking up his cum, but my body is too tired to become aroused so soon after cumming. “I love you Severus.” As long as I am asleep I am not accountable. I do not have to respond to those words. I can just hear them and let my insides warm at the knowledge without putting my own feelings on the line. That’s just something I’m not ready for. Once I am clean he dresses me gently and gives me a potion that will help ensure I won’t feel pain tomorrow. The entire time he is whispering words of love. He covers me under the blankets and then brushes my hair away to kiss his spot.   
No one has ever touched me the way he has. His hands warm and gentle. His lips press against my cheek and I force the color from my cheeks.   
“I am leaving now Severus; I will see you tomorrow.” But he hasn’t left yet. “You know. I never did properly thank you for all the things you did for me. Like for teaching me occulumecy. When I was a student it was difficult for me to learn, but once I graduated it came a lot more naturally to me and now I’m also a decent legilimens. As long as the person is reasonably distracted. And I don’t think your too old to desire affection. I’ll see you tomorrow Severus. And make sure you don’t pick on my lions”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally the last chapter, and let me tell you I was really mulling over how I wanted it to end. I mean... I knew there would be smut because you know... smut is nice. Anyways. I have finally completed a story that I've needed to complete for a while. I hope all of you enjoy the last chapter of my story. Onward my ducklings.

He knew.  The bastard knew… for how long.  And why am I so hard now.  That stupid Gryffindor.  How long did he know, and why come clean now.    He couldn’t have known from the beginning.  He wasn’t experienced in legilimency.  At least not enough for me to not notice him pressing into my mind.  I was able to keep the dark lord from my mind, but then this is the wizard who defeated a man once thought immortal.  When did he first realize that I was… willing.  That I wanted him to continue.  He knew.  It couldn’t have been since the beginning, but how long has he known.  How long has he been toying with me?

He sits next to me in the great hall for meals.  I’m thankful for my years of being a spy, because nothing shows on my face.  He smiles at me, and for his part acts natural.  He eats his food, and lightly chatters with the other teachers.  All the while his hand is on my knee under the table. 

“Did you sleep well Professor Snape?”  I ignore his question.  I can’t feign ignorance any longer, but for this moment I will.  When I refuse to answer his question, his hand slides further up my leg.  I try to glare at him.  Will him to stop- though the damage is already done, I can already feel myself hardening.  My gaze does not faze him.  He’s seen me in ways no other has.  Seen me in what I believed to be my final moments.  Seen me squirming under his touch.  I cannot intimidate him as I once could. 

His hand lazily strokes the inside of my thigh.  This is flirting?  The thought seems ludicrous.  Flirting.  The golden boy… with me.  More likely this is a game.  He smiles at me. 

“You look well rested at the very least.  I wanted to talk with you about the exam you are planning for the end of the week.  My Gryffindors do not feel prepared, and I’m sure students from the other houses are feeling just as overwhelmed.  I would like to ask that you postponed the exam until the following Monday to give the students a bit more time to familiarize themselves with the subject matter.”  His eyes are boring into mine, and his hand squeezes my leg through the material of my trousers.  “I am sure the students would really appreciate it.”  I refuse to squirm though his grip becomes softer.  “I understand I have sprang this on you.  Perhaps we could meet in your room tonight to discuss it at further length Severus.”  He whispers my name low enough that only I hear it.

“That would… be satisfactory Potter.”  He will come to my room regardless.  His hand stays on my thigh throughout the entirety of breakfast; his thumb presses into my leg softly but firmly.  This hero that saved the wizarding world shows no hesitance in touching me, and he does not show desire to stop.  I find myself unable to eat. 

The day goes on in a blur where I find myself unable to focus on the class… something truly dangerous for a potion classroom so I dismiss my last class early.  No one bothers to think about why too happy at the reprieve.  I go to my personal rooms.  I let this happen.  He’s a strong wizard.  Possibly the strongest.  Despite my years of experience, he was bound to surpass me.  Why did I not consider that?  Why had I not changed the password to my quarters?  I know I could not have gone to anyone about this because no good would come of it.  I would either be the laughing stock that has accused some attractive savior half his age of being enticed by my body enough to rape me… laughable.  Or less likely they would have believed me and arrested the boy.  No.  I understand why I had to keep the knowledge a secret, but why not stop him that first night.  Even that.  I was curious why he would want to do those things.  I let him.  I wanted him to. 

I do not know what time he will arrive, but I feel _dirty._   I need to bathe thoroughly before he arrives.  I need to feel clean before we discuss the taboo subject of why he was ‘raping’ me and why I was letting him.  I wash my hair first.  Regardless of what anyone says, I cannot help my hairs oily sheen.  I wash it daily, and it is soft to the touch.  The color.  The potions.  I don’t know, but It has always looked thus.  I’m more meticulous about hygiene then others give me credit for.  I do not like the smell of musk or sweat.  It reminds me of my father in a way.  I take care that every expanse of my body is thoroughly cleaned. 

When I step out of the shower, I dry myself manually.  A lifetime spent as a wizard cannot halt the instinct of using more muggle methods.  I dress in the most casual robes I own.  No other would call them casual.  There are a dozen buttons down the front and they are high collared, but they do not drape on me the say way the others do.  They cling to my body as if to hug.  They make me feel… somewhat attractive.  I shave though I don’t really need to, and go through the trouble of brushing my hair.  I feel much too anxious over this ‘meeting’. 

I’ll fix a cup of tea and relax.  I’m sure I’ll have plenty of time to… At the sitting table he’s waiting with two cups of tea already pored. 

“I invited myself inside.”  My initial instinct is to chastise him.  How dare he come into my room without my express permission, but isn’t that what he’s been doing anyways.  I’ve let him all this time and he knows that I have.  “Don’t wait for me to ask you to sit.  It is your sitting room and your tea after all.”  I do sit.  He smiles at me.  “For starters.  I would like to ask at least for this discussion that we drop the formalities.  I would like for you to call me by my name and I would like to call you by yours.  Concerning the topic that we both know this is really about, I’m sure we can be mature enough to speak to each other as adults.”

“I can do that.”  I say sitting down.  He looks at me pointedly.  “Harry.”  He remains quiet as my heart calms.  I take small sips of the tea and try not to question why he choose this tea out of all the other ones I have.  Why he chooses the one that I specifically save for when I am panicked or under stress.  He waits until I take several sips and takes a couple large sips of his own before he sighs and begins speaking.

“Severus.  You were my first.” I don’t mean to choke on the tea I was previously swallowing.  It’s completely undignified how that one admission sends me back into a panic.  He smiles softly.  I can feel his leg bump against mine.  “Is it really that hard to believe.  I was still a student.  I had offers, but I refused them all.”  I feel his foot lift onto my chair.  His action is completely indecent, but he doesn’t remove his resting foot.  “I did not know that you were awake until the first time after I became a teacher.  You know, I became a teacher specifically so that I could continue having you each night.”  I can’t drink my tea because of these… confessions, and I can’t set it down because then I will be defenseless.  “You have such a tight ass Severus.”  Oh Merlin’s beard and the founders. 

“Enough of this useless prattle.  Say what you have come to say and then leave.”  He smiles in a way that reminds me too much of a snake.  His foot presses against my groin.  I refuse to swallow.

“It was your voice and mostly hormones of a boy just starting to go through puberty.  I think it was first year when I first wanted to fuck you. In fact I think it was the very first time you spoke to me.  Everyone had been so nice and then you were cruel for no other reason other than to be cruel.  That’s what I thought.”  His foot presses firmly between my legs.

“Get to the point Potter!”

“Harry.  If you don’t mind.”  His foot slowly tauntingly applies soft pressure to my hardening shaft.  “Do you remember the first question you asked me.”

“How could I be bothered to remember something so trivial?”

“Trivial.  That’s what I thought it was as well in the beginning.  I bet you do remember what you first asked me though, don’t you?”

“I ask many potion related questions, that is my profession.”

“What would I get if I added powdered root of asphodel to an infusion of wormwood.”

“You remember that question but you still barely passed my class.  Congratulations on remembering the wrong things.”  He smiles at me.

“I was never good at herbology, but it makes so much sense that that would be the first thing you tell me.  An apology that I could not have even understood.  Neville however is practically a prodigy when it comes to plants and such.  He came to me one day when we were still in school.  He told me that every plant had a meaning and sometimes you would say things in that language.  He came to me with a little book.”

“I hardly see how this is…”

“I know that you are frightened.  I wasn’t meant to find out.  Just another thing for you to take to your grave.  Do you know what an asphodel is?  You are a smart man, the youngest potion master in existence.  I’m sure you know.”

“It’s a flower.”

“Yes Severus, you are correct, but as always withholding the important information.  It’s a lily.  A lily that means ‘my regrets follow you to the grave’ do you know what wormwood means Severus.”  I do swallow now, but I don’t answer.  “It means absence and it typically symbolizes bitter sorrow.  That question.  You knew that I was brought up by muggles.  You knew that there was no way for me to see the admission of pain and the apology.  That simple question was meant to mean ‘I bitterly regret Lily’s death’.  The most honest you have ever been with me was hidden through a layer of Victorian Flower Language and a desire that I would never knew how you felt.”

“Perhaps… I had meant it as an apology, or perhaps you are insane and I was simply asking a question to put you in your place.”

“Do you know wormwoods other meaning.  ‘Do not be discouraged.’  I think you were trying to tell me at that very moment that you wanted to protect me.  Severus.  Now would be the time to correct me, because I’ve built so much on that small theory.  The war is over.  I only ask that you give me this small bit of honesty.  Am I reading too far into a simple question, or did that question truly have these hidden meanings?”

“I couldn’t let anyone know, but I had to tell you.”  He smiles at me. 

“It was at that moment that I fell in love with you.”  I don’t mean to tense.  “It was forth year.  That’s when I found out sir.  That’s when I fell in love with you.  That’s when I became obsessed.  It was a year after that I first started raping you.”  Was he actually that young.  I let… a minor… no.  “Severus.  Anyone that looks at the situation could tell that you were ‘sleeping’ you would not be in any trouble for being raped, if anything.  I would be the one arrested.”  He takes another sip of his tea then sets it down so gently.  He reaches his hand out and grasps my shaking one.  “I’m not a minor anymore.  I can’t keep… taking you each night and us both pretend like the other doesn’t know.”

“Harry.  I don’t understand what you are saying or why you are saying it.”

“I wanted to give you some insight as to why I spent half of my school life… ‘raping’ you.”

“Could you stop using that word.  I hate that word.  I hate every implication that you are implying.  You did not rape me.  I… very much consented.”

“Multiple times most nights.”  I flush at the innuendo.  “But I still snuck into your rooms, attempted to cast spells on you -and honestly thought for years that I was successful, and proceeded to have you in the most intimate ways I could think of.”  I don’t say anything.  “Why.  I guess that’s what I want to know.  I’ve been… brutally honest about why I did my own actions.  I’ve put myself of the line.  Now I want to know why you let me do those things.  I want honesty.  Even if it’s not something I would like to hear.”

“I had many reason.”

“Good start at A and end at Z.  We have the rest of our lives.”  I pause for a moment.

“Do you truly want me to put them in alphabetical order or… was that just a poor expression.”

“Poor expression.  Just begin.”  His foot has returned to press into my groin and I’m trying to ignore it.

“You could have died trying to fight a war that I had a hand in creating.  I wanted you to… have whatever you wanted.  I was curious.  You were nervous, but completely positive that touching me was what you wanted to do.  You… you were the boy who lived and though I loathe letting that go to your head… I was flattered in a way that it was me.  From the first moment I knew that your intentions weren’t malicious in nature.  Curious maybe… inexperienced as well.  But not malicious.  You were indeed charging ahead without consent, but never for a moment did you put your own pleasure before my own.”  He is looking at me expecting me to continue.  “I have had sex only a handful of times and none of them were… pleasant.  They were consensual to a point, but I did not have a strong desire to engage in coitus with them.  It was not pleasant and I experienced little to no pleasure, but I endured it.  I felt that I could do the same with the golden boy.  If you wanted sex… then I would let you have it.  I sold my soul… my body just seemed… not as big a trade in comparison.  You were young.  I was sure that it would be another… too eager, painful, orgasm-less bout of romping, but you were gentle… and… willing to give that I just let you.  I’m not a saint for feigning sleep and letting a minor do… so many inappropriate things to my person.”

“I enjoyed touching you.”

“Regardless what I did was a felony.”

“Is that all of your reasons.”  I tense slightly.  He showed me honesty.  I could do the same.

“We were the same.  You would talk to me while you touched me.  You would tell me things.  Sometimes I’m not even sure you were aware of the things you were saying.  I think touching me in those ways was therapeutic to you.  You would tell me about your home and though I couldn’t save you from it, I could silently listen.  I could understand.  I may have not slept in a cupboard, but I understand all that entails.”  His thumb rubs circles into my hand.

“What else Severus.”

“You called me beautiful.”  Fuck.  No.  I did not.  I would not.  He’s smiling at me.  I’ve been saying everything so… easily.  To easily.  “You.  You didn’t.”

“I wanted this meeting to go smoothly.  It isn’t just you though Severus.  I promise.  I put Veritaserum in both of our drinks.  Just a drop.  And it’s diluted.  I needed this to go smoothly.”

“You know that the Ministry has restricted its usage, and you used it to…”

“To make sure that I would not leave here without telling you what I’ve been wanting to tell you since forth year.  I love you.  I’m obsessed with you.  I put it in your drink because I’m a coward that wanted to make sure you would not lie, but I didn’t want for you to be forced to answer.  I only made sure you couldn’t lie.  One drop in yours.  Three in mine.  And I actually drank all of my tea sir.  It wasn’t for you so much as for me.  You are a frightfully intimidating fellow and I needed to know that I can’t back out.  Even now I’m screaming at myself to shut up, but I can’t.  I need to tell you all of these secrets.”

“Are you completely crazed?!”

“Obsessed.  I need for you to hate me for the things I did.  The things I might continue to do if you do not outright tell me to stop doing all the things I’ve done.”

“Harry you are scaring me.”  I don’t mean to say the admission.

“I’ve scared myself.  I’ve done lots of naughty things professor.  I control myself better now that I’m older, but when I was a student… Severus I wouldn’t have cared if you were awake.  I still… I’m afraid that I still might have forced myself on you, and I know the idea is ludicrous because you are stronger than me, and I would never want to hurt you but I was obsessed.”

“Stop talking.  I will get the antidote and you can…”

“I need for you to know.  I also stole some polyjuice potion forth year.  It wasn’t just the imposter.  It was also me.  Severus I stole it a couple times.  I tried to make it and keep some on hand especially during the holidays, but I stole some twice.  You could ask Moaning Myrtle what I did, but I doubt she would say.  Severus I took some of your hair so that I could turn into you, and nights that I could sneak away, I would use the polyjuice on myself touch your body.  I wanted to see it.  I wanted to pretend that I was touching you because I’d never get a chance other wise and because every night I found myself masturbating to the idea of making you cum.”  I’m to flushed to speak.  To aroused to move.  All throughout his confession he allowed himself to cry.  “I am not a good person Severus.  I need for you to know that.”

“Then we are both ‘bad’ people I suppose.”  He rubs his eyes behind the glasses.

“You seem less outraged than I anticipated.”

“I am neither outraged nor mad.  I am… slightly concerned as to why you would be obsessed let alone with me.  I am slightly embarrassed that you fantasized about myself in that way.  Again I am strangely flattered.  I do not know of anyone as botched in the brain as you that would lower their standards enough to find me sexually appealing.”  I stand to grab the counter effect to the Veritaserum. 

“Please.  It will wear off soon enough.”

“I don’t know that I can handle any more of your startling confessions.  I think I have dealt with all of the current ones well, but if this continues then I will eventually see fault in your actions or I fear that I may become frightened.”

“That is the worst of it.  Using you for masturbation fodder.  Every night for a year until I just needed to touch the real you.”  He stands.  “I do love you Severus.”

“I think the very idea to be ludicrous and if not for the fact that I know you are under Veritaserum I would swear that you are lying.”

His lips connect to mine in a bout of confidence.  “Never.  I would never lie about this.  I want… Severus I want to touch you right now.  I want to take you.  I want us to both know that you are conscious and that you are consenting and that you want me to touch you in those ways.”

Anxiety.  Anxiety that I had not previously known.

“What do you want from me exactly Harry.”

“Everything.  You are the only person I have ever been with.  I have already told you that I love you.  I will not ask for you to share the sentiment, but if you think one day you might…. Then I would love a go at a relationship with you.  One that isn’t just sex… but hopefully you will still want sex.  Because just thinking about taking you right now has made me impossibly hard.”  My mouth is so dry.

“A relationship?  When you say relationship what exactly do you mean.”

“I don’t mean just a simple friendship or even bed mates.  I want affection.  I want for you to love me.  If you think you could one day.  I just.  I can’t go back to pretending that I don’t know you are awake, but I can’t just stop without talking to you.  I needed this to go smoothly.”

“I don’t think… that I am capable of having a relationship with anyone.”

“How long has it been since you’ve had someone fawning after your affections.”

“Never.  No one has wanted this from me.”  He smiles softly. 

“I could be your first.  I would be very gentle with you.  I know I could be a caring lover.  I just need you to give me the chance.”

“What would people say… would anyone be told?  The public would terrorize me if they knew that I corrupted their precious savior.”  Something akin to panic is rising in my voice.

“I would want everyone to know, but we can go slow.  We wouldn’t have to come out to everyone at once.  My friends, the rest of the staff.  The school will find out at its own pace.  Eventually everyone will know, but we can go slow.  I don’t know what people will say, but I can assure you… if anyone says something out of line to you, I will not tolerate it.  I will not let our relationship become a cause for anxiety.  If you want us to move slower, we will.  If you want us to be more private, we will.  If you aren’t ready for anyone to know, or if you only want the few people close to us to know, then that’s what we will do.”

“What… would a relationship between us mean.  I’m having a hard time understanding…”  he kisses my knuckles.

“It would mean that if you are in trouble or upset, that I would be by your side.  The same for me.  If something troubles me, I will want to go to your side.  More than that, it means neither of us would be going through life alone.  We would be companions, lovers.”  I can feel the effects of the potion wearing off.  It’s not compelling me to be honest or to… open myself to him. 

“I’m hesitant to put myself in any position that may lead me down a path of humiliation.”  He smiles at me.

“You have always been open in bed.  You trusted me there.  You trusted me to take care of you.”

“That was different entirely.”

“Severus, I’m not my father.  I… understand the fear of being humiliated.  I understand not wanting to give other ammunition against you.  I’m not someone you need to be wary of.  I’m not going to hurt you.  I’ve been obsessed with you.  That isn’t going to change regardless of it you give me a chance or not.  If you refuse me then I’ll just, try to be your friend and use thoughts of you to masturbate to.  I’m not going to force my desire on you anymore.  The war is over.  I’m not a child.  I can handle rejection if that’s what your decision is, but you have to make the choice.”

“What if… I agreed, but change my mind later.”

“Then we will go through the wonders of breaking up… just like most everyone else has.  I’m an adult.  I can handle seeing you every day even if you reject me… even if you accept me and then break it off.  You aren’t trapped into anything.  All you have to do is give me a chance.”

“Okay.”  I take a few sips of the tea needing the potion to give me a bit of courage.  “I think that I would like to… try a relationship, but I know very little and I refuse to be teased if I do not understand something.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”  He kisses my fingertips. 

“What… what do we do now?” 

“Can I kiss you?”  I find my shoulders tensing at the question.  “I’ve never gotten to kiss you, and I’ve wanted to for so long.”

“If that is… what you desire then you may… kiss me.”  He stands from seat and walks in front of me.  I don’t move.  I’m half positive that if I did it would be to get away from him.  His movements are slow.  His hand glides to the back of my neck and I hope he can’t hear how heavy my breathing is. 

“Are you nervous Severus?” The potion is encouraging me to scream yes, but I choke back the word.  I don’t move.  I don’t speak.  I want this as much as I don’t want this.  It’s too new.  It’s too unfamiliar.  “I’m nervous.”  I hear the words and instantly cover my mouth before I realize I’m not the one who said it.  He smiles softly.  “It’s our first kiss after all.  You don’t mind that I’m nervous do you.”

“I don’t mind.”  He grasps my hand and kisses my jaw line.

“Good.  Then I’m sure you know that I don’t mind you being nervous.”  The words are whispered across my skin.  “Before long both of us will be completely use to kissing, but I don’t think this warm feeling inside me will pass no matter how many times you let me kiss your lips.”

“Harry, I…”  and he’s kissing me.  The first kiss is simply pressure against my lips.  Chaste enough where I no longer feel the need to run.  He pulls away and smiles warmly at me.  The second kiss his tongue sweeps across my lips and encourages them to part slightly.  He pulls away to kiss my pulse point.  The third kiss and I grant him access immediately. 

“Are you okay with this Severus?”  I nod feeling strangely light headed.  The forth kiss is tentative exploration.  His hand holds mine tenderly.  The fifth kiss melts into the sixth which melts into the seventh.  Each kiss is longer and more confident than the previous one.  I don’t resist his tongue in my mouth.  I don’t resist how he’s in my lap.  I don’t resist the shallow grinding against my thigh.  He pulls away breathlessly after either the twelfth or fourteenth kiss.  I don’t remember when I lost count.  Though his lips are no longer attached to my own, his lower half is melded to mine.  His arms wrap around my, pulling me to him.  I faintly feel his hand sweep the hair from my neck and kiss that spot.  His spot. 

“Not there.  Don’t kiss there.”

“Does it turn you on too?  I love kissing you here.”  He bites his spot and I breathlessly moan.  Damn it.  “What a beautiful sound.”

“Harry.  What exactly… is your intentions right now?”

“To take whatever you give me.  I’m enjoying kissing you.  I’m enjoying every touch but my mind is screaming to bend you over this table and do so many… naughty things.”  I gulp and it echoes loudly.  I know he hears because he laughs lightly.  His tongue trails over my pulse point.  “Your heart is beating really fast.” 

“How can you just say those things… it’s so indecent.” 

“Sex is indecent.  And it’s dirty.  And sometimes it’s embarrassing.  But if it feels good then does the other stuff really matter.  Is it so bad if we are indecent around each other if it means that I can make you feel good?”

“I… no.  It’s not bad.”

“Sometimes I might say embarrassing things that will make you feel happy and warm… is that okay.”

“Yes.  That’s… I can handle that.” 

“Severus, you’re shaking.  Are you okay.”

“Fine.”  I hadn’t realized I was shaking.  His arms had wrapped around my waist and I realized that I was standing.  I don’t know how long I’ve been standing directly in front of him just shaking.”

“What do you want Severus.”  A part of my brain is screaming that this is a trap.  Everything is too good to be true, so it must be.  How do I know that he really put Veritaserum in his drink?  All of this.  It could all be an act.  It could all just be some elaborate… “Severus.”  He’s looking at me pointedly.  “Severus.  I’ve told you so much about myself when I thought you were unconscious.  Would I do that if this were a prank.”  When I don’t answer, he smirks at me.  “Would I tongue your asshole if it were a prank.” 

“Must you talk like that!”

“You didn’t want to believe that this was genuine, so I stated a fact.  I have tasted.  Numerous times.  You always enjoyed it.  If you can’t just believe me, then look at everything I’ve done.”

“I know alright.  I know this isn’t a prank, but it’s just… this isn’t… It doesn’t make any sense.”

“And why is that Severus.”

“Because I was your teacher.  I’m old enough to be your father.  I’m an ex deatheater.  You are the golden savior of the whole wizarding world.  We don’t fit together.”

“I think we fit together quite nicely, and your body seemed to think so as well.”

“Damn it Potter.  No.  This doesn’t add up.”

“Am I back to Potter?”  He exhales loudly.  “Severus.  If you do not want a relationship with me then fine, but I will not have you thinking that the love I feel for you isn’t genuine.”

“I know it’s the truth!  It just doesn’t make sense.  Why the fuck would you want me.”  He pulls away from me.  Though he’s gotten taller, he’s still several inches shorter than I am.  He looks up at me.

“Maybe your just my type.”  I can’t help when I raise an eyebrow.  “I like guys that are kind of lanky.  I like smart guys.  I like dark hair.  Dark eyes.  Silky voices.  Is it so impossible that I’m attracted to you?”  He kisses me and I feel calm.  “I am attracted to you.  The other thing is.  I feel like you can understand me in a way that no one else has been able to.  My best friends could never understand.  Both have this happy picturesque relationship with their parents.  They’ve never had to worry about being struck or verbally abused.  They’ve never been told that they are not allowed to eat or that they can only have what is left over at the ‘real family’ eats.  I don’t fully know about your childhood, but I can surmise that it wasn’t easy.”

“I’m sorry.”  I don’t know what I’m apologizing for, but the words come out easier than I meant for them to.

“Severus.  I love you.  I want to touch you.”  I find myself nodding and allowing him to softly bend me over the table.  He’s pressed against my back so that he can kiss his spot.  I can feel his erection against my bum.  His hand loops to stroke me through my trousers.  He’s been teasing me for so long that my body responds immediately.  “You are so responsive.”  I can’t bring myself to speak.  I clinch my eyes shut.  It feels so good.  I feel him undressing me and I clinch my legs together.  I can feel the cold air hitting intimate parts of my body.  He has me bent over the table.  My legs tightly together and eyes clinched shut.  I’m asleep.  If I’m asleep then I’m not accountable.  I just have to keep my eyes close.

“Open your eyes Severus.”  I keep them shut.  I’m asleep.  I hear him chuckling.  “I’ve noticed, that you always taste like soap.  Such a naughty teacher.  You clean yourself here very thoroughly.  You took a bath right before I showed up.  Did you want to clean up for me?  You wanted to appear attractive.”  I stifle the flush.  I will not fall for that… that teasing.  Fingers.  Tongue.  Pressed inside.  “You silly man.  I already find you impossibly attractive.”  No.  No.  My body is responding to much.  “You are squirming Severus.  Are you nervous because you can’t feign sleep, or because I admitted that I found you downright sexy?”  He’s touching too deeply.  I can’t hide in the recesses of my mind.  “Open your eyes for me Severus.  Say something.  I need to hear you consent.  I want to hear you consent.  I want to know that we desire this from each other.  Can you give me that Severus?”

“I want this.  I always have.”  My voice sounds so quiet.  “I can’t open my eyes.”

“Why not Severus.”  His tongue.  Fuck his tongue.

“It’s too much.”  He’s laughing softly.  Happily.

“Don’t pretend like you are asleep, and don’t quiet yourself.  Let me hear you.”  I can only hear how loud I’m breathing.

“Is… talking like this normal… for lovers in a relationship.”  He pulls away from me.

“Are we lovers Severus?  Are you wanting for us to be together?  I want a clear answer.”

“I… want us to be.”

“So beautiful.  Severus I want you to stroke yourself.  Can you do that for me.”  I do as he asks.  He’s touched me so many times that my body naturally relaxes when his hand rests on my hip.  “Just like that.  Stroke yourself.”  Two of his fingers press into me and stretch slowly.  His fingers know exactly where to press or twist.  “How does this feel Severus.  I want you to answer me.”  I can feel my legs shake slightly.

“Good.  It feels good.”  A third finger.  “Harry.”

“Yes my love.” 

“Why… do you always... ahhh! manually stretch me?”

“Do you not like it Severus?”  His fingers continue.

“I do.  I do really like it, but with magic…”

“It’s not as personal.  It doesn’t have the buildup that this does.  I like making sure myself that you are stretched enough.  I like knowing that I’m the one who did it.  I know the spell, and there might be a day we use it, but I prefer this way.  I like knowing I made you come undone.  It’s not fully me if I use magic to help.  Is that alright with you Severus.”

“I… prefer this way as well.” 

“I bet you do Severus.”  He presses against that spot and I scream breathlessly.  My hand is coated in my own semen.  “Do you think you are ready for me to enter you now my love.”  I nod.  Though tired, my body knows there’s more to enjoy.  He always tries to get me off once before taking me… I’m glad to know he’s still as concerned over my pleasure.

“I’m ready for you to be inside of me.”  My voice is a whisper, and I can hear the rest of the room go quiet.  His hand on my hip twitches for a moment, but otherwise he doesn’t move.  Did I say something wrong?  It felt… right to say that.  “Harry…”

“Merlin, I almost came.  You have way too much influence over my body.  Alright love.  I’m going to take you now.”  His hand grasps my hip securely.  I can feel the blunt head of his erection pressing into the ring of muscles.  My body opens to him immediately.  I’m use to the way he stretches my insides.  I’m use to the slight burn.  “I won’t move just yet Severus.  I’ll let you get used to it.”

“I already am.  Just please.  Please move.  Don’t make me wait any longer.”  My hips are moving on their own.  My body feels more sensitive than ever before.  He rocks slowly.  Way to slowly. 

“Your insides feel so warm and soft.”  To slow.  “And you keep twitching.  What is it Severus.”  He’s never taken me this slow before.  It’s almost as if he weren’t moving at all.  “If there’s something you want, then you have to tell me.”  He’s laughing in my ear.  “It’s not like I can read your mind.”  His tongue licks the shell of my ear.  “I need for you to tell me love.  That’s all you have to do.  Tell me what you want… what you need, and I’ll do it.  We are both consenting adults.  You aren’t ‘asleep’ so talk to me.”

“Faster.”  He strokes me softly.

“What was that love.  I don’t quite understand.”

“Take me faster.  I want you to take me how you normally do… it feels good that way.”  His hands rub up my back and rest on my shoulders.  I can feel his fingers press against the skin of my collar bone.  His hips snap forward completely sheathing himself inside.  Before I have a chance to enjoy the fullness he is already pulling out only to slam back inside.  My fingers grip the end of the table, but I can’t brace myself well enough.  Harry’s hands grasp my shoulders and pull me back making me impale myself.  “Ah…”

“Like this my love.  Is this how you like to be fucked.”  I can’t quiet the whimper or the moan that follows it.  He rewards my sounds by breaking the skin at his spot.  He sucks the slightly bleeding wound before licking all the blood.  “You love when I take you fast.  You love when you can’t do anything but let me rut.”  He pulls out and I want to beg him to enter me again, but I also want to see what he will do to me.  He’s grinding against my entrance.  Just outside.  The tip of his penis teases my opening as if he were going to push in again, but each time he doesn’t.  He keeps rubbing just outside between my cheeks.  “You have such a cute pale ass.  As much as I want to just plow you and empty myself in you, I want to stretch this out.  I don’t want it to end too quickly.  After all.  This is the first time I’m getting to make love with my boyfriend.”

“Just.  Do whatever you want with me.  It all… everything feels good.”

“You make this so difficult for me Severus.  Every time you open your mouth, you just say such arousing things, and your ass is so tight I have to fight to keep from cumming immediately.”  He slams inside so fast I find myself screaming. 

“Ahhh… Harry...”

“If you keep screaming my name like that I won’t last.  It feels like I’m finally making you mine.”

“Yours?”

“Yes my love.  Mine.  Do you like that.  Do you like knowing that you belong to me.”  Before I can answer his erection slams into my prostrate.  He’s fucking me much harder now.  I truly feel like he’s marking me.  I’ve belonged to so many people in my life.  I’ve had so many masters that the thought of having another is frightening. 

“Will you… belong to me as well.”  He kisses his spot and though he hasn’t answered yet, I already know.  Something finally clicks.  I didn’t need to ask that question. 

“I have belonged to you for years my love.”

“Then… I don’t mind being yours.  I… I love you.”  The words are quiet and more shy than I intended them to be but completely true nonetheless. I know he heard me.  He slams fully inside and I can feel him washing my insides with his cum.  I can feel my own body following after his. 

“Harry.  Could you… pull out.”  His cheek nuzzles into my back.

“You want to take a shower Severus.  Together maybe.”

“I… would like that.”  He pulls apart from me and I ignore the cum trailing down my legs as I follow him into my shower.  He pulls me against him and I let my body rest against his shoulder.  He cleans my body for me and I find that I’m okay with the intimate but not sexual touches.  It feels right to have him bathing me.  “Harry?”

“Hmm?”  His fingers are massaging my back as he washes both cum and sweat from my skin.

“I can postpone the test until Monday so that the students have more time to prepare, but do not expect me to accommodate your Gryffindors every time just because their head of house is screwing me.”

“Aren’t you a bit of a softy.”  He’s kissing me.  “Next thing you know, you might start treating all of the houses the same.” 

“Once the school finds out about us, I doubt I’ll be able to make the first years cry at my presence anymore.”

“It would be completely awful if the students found out you were actually a person.”  He’s petting my hair and I find it more relaxing than I care to admit.

“Just don’t lose interest in me or I’ll take a hundred points from your lions a day.”  He’s laughing softly.

“You don’t have to worry about that Severus.  Are you tired.  Do you want to take a nap?”  I feel myself nodding against his shoulder.  He leads us to my room.  He casts a wandless drying spell before laying me in my bed.  Once I’m comfortable he looks at me uncertain.

“What… is it.”

“I was just wondering if I should go back to my room or if I should push my luck and see if you’ll let me sleep here.”  I can’t bring myself to look at him.  I swallow the nerves and think over exactly what I’m about to say.

“Harry, my bed has always been and always will be open to you.”


End file.
